@hardlydead

[outerfringe]

[One day David simply stops appearing by the fire with the rest of them, and Jeff does his very best to be relieved for him. There are only two real possible reasons for that, right? Either he'd actually died for real, or he'd managed to find a way back home- and either way, it meant that he was out of this place. Jeff tries to be happy for him, and for the most part, he is.

He doesn't think about David at all the first day after he wakes up on the cold floor of the Ormond resort, back stiff and jacket crusted with frost. Instead he's too busy finding his way back to town, organizing arrangements to make it home. His apartment key no longer works, he recognizes none of his neighbors, but his bank account was still somehow in alright standing.

Jeff finds a new place. He does not find a new dog.

He feels weird about creating a Facebook account just to check for David, but he does it anyway. When that comes up fruitless, he thinks a lot about the conversations the two of them had while tucked close together in the dark. Wonders if David would even want to be found by someone like him, to be faced with a reminder of the time they'd spent doing everything they could to simply survive.

Jeff tries to paint but can't seem to pull himself out of severe blacks and reds. Tries to catch up on the music he'd missed from the bands he'd loved but it fails to soothe him the way it had before. He considers a therapist, and then decides that he'd be locked away the second he was candid enough for someone to actually help him.

So he packs some things, books a flight. Finds himself at his fifth seedy pub in three days without much hope - except this time when he says he's looking for David King, the big guy by the bar makes a point of sizing him up. Jeff sets his shoulders, frowns and promises that he's an old friend, but it doesn't seem to affect much the scowl on the guy's face. He says something (that Jeff completely misses, he can barely understand a goddamn thing when people here are drunk and loud), but seems to indicate for him to wait.

Which he does. He parks on a stool with a drink, assumes his most unapproachable aura, and waits. He doesn't know who he's expecting to appear, but it's not David.

There's not a chance it would actually be that simple.]

Comments

[hardlydead]

[ david does much the same while jeff's done. unconsciously smooths down his shirt as he stares at the table and takes a couple of deep breaths. ]

Sounds better than whatever this is.

[ it's uncomfortable is what it is. it's driving him insane. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff nods at that, not sitting down yet.]

Y'all do shots in Manchester?

[hardlydead]

[ he laughs and gives jeff a look as if to say "what do you take this for?" ]

'Course.

[outerfringe]

[Look, he's doing his best to be lighthearted here. Jeff drains the glass and indicates for David to follow him to the bar.]

[hardlydead]

[ he very nearly puts a hand on jeff's back as they walk, but on second thought beer good. beer doesn't come with complicated feelings. david tips that pint back, and by the time they reach the bar he's planting down an empty glass and gesturing to jeff when the bartender gives him a confused look. ]

why am i so fond of them

[outerfringe]

[Jeff will order them what might be a slightly irresponsible number of shots. He isn't really paying attention to the bartender's reactions; he's focused entirely on the drinks.]

because they're a ridiculous pair of awkward gay fools

[hardlydead]

[ david doesn't care about anything except jeff and those shots. should a man in his mid-30s be drinking like this? probably not. not even if he has his alcohol tolerance back. but the second those first two shots are poured, david grabs one and raises it to clink to jeff's as a cheers. ]

Bottom's up.

[ and down the hatch it goes. ]

[outerfringe]

[This is a terrible fucking idea, but leaning into it comes with an undeniable sense of relief. Jeff isn't thinking about any sort of future right now, about what tomorrow might look like; at the moment, he's just relieved that someone he cared very much about is alive, tangible and in front of him.

He'll pick up the second with a laugh.]

Better than whatever we shared that one time.

[hardlydead]

[ he laughs. christ that feels like a lifetime ago. in some ways it was, he supposes. ]

That's a low bar. Shit was rank.

[ but without it they wouldn't have had... whatever it was. the thought makes him pause, but rather than following it and getting all melancholy, david takes that next shot. and a third right after. fuck it. ]

[outerfringe]

Yeah. Really was.

[Jeff cuts himself off after his own third - he doesn't want to end the night throwing up all over himself or the man next to him - but he'll gesture in a way that indicates he's happy for David to keep going.

If this isn't enough liquid courage to keep going, he's seen plenty of places for them to stop in and top up.]

[hardlydead]

Good time though.

[ he's a heavy drinker without much of a sense of self-control, so david tips back a fourth. it's only because the bartender says his name in that 'please don't make me cut you off' tone of voice that he relents. two beers and four shots doesn't sound like much to him, but it'll catch up. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff hears that tone and shoots David a sidelong glance. 'Troublemaker,' he mouths, eyebrows up, before he grabs his jacket and heads for the door.]

[hardlydead]

Wh--

[ he is offended. david raises his eyebrows, shocked and appalled by the accusation, and follows jeff on out. hands shoved in his jacket pockets, he falls into step next to the other man and nudges him lightly with his elbow. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff nudges him back, already able to feel the warmth in his stomach and throat. This is better. Easier, too, when they're in the quieter night air.]

You, uh. Look like you're doing alright. Over a year, huh.

[hardlydead]

Easy life to fit back into.

[ david shrugs. maybe it's something worth talking about, but something about being so unimportant to almost everyone around him that he could just come back, say "I'm not dead," and carry on like he wasn't gone for years. it doesn't feel great. ]

I, uh. [ he glances back over his shoulder briefly, and then down at the ground as they walk. ] I missed you.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff is in a pretty similar boat. He glances back over his shoulder too, more curious than looking for anyone or anything in particular, before he nods and flexes his hands a little stiffly in his pockets.]

Yeah. I missed you, too.

[There's a quiet sort of weight in his words.]

I mean - I was glad you were gone. That you weren't-

But I missed you. At the fire.

[hardlydead]

Yeah. Sorry.

[ it's not his fault, he knows that, still has no idea how or why he got sent back or why he was first. it still sucks though. weighs heavy on him, the thought of jeff there without anyone to lean on. he hates it. ]

[outerfringe]

[It'd be a giant lie to say that he was fine, but he'd survived. Eventually. He'd missed David like a limb, but there was solace in knowing that he wasn't trapped there too.]

Hey, man, nah. I don't want you to be sorry.

[hardlydead]

I am though.

[ there's a sad little quirk of a smile to his lips and he looks aside at jeff. ]

Would've stayed with you if I could. [ he sighs and shrugs a shoulder ] Shit, if I had a choice I would've stayed behind longer so you could go.

[outerfringe]

[Maybe it's because it's still so recent for him - maybe it's because he still wakes up at times with a piercing pain in his chest, sure he's going to look down and see a hook through the meat of his shoulder.

The admission makes his chest tight in an unpleasant way.]

I'm glad you didn't have a choice.

[It's sharper than he means it to be.]

[hardlydead]

[ he purses his lips, swallowing down the urge to argue because it wouldn't do anything except make them both feel like shit, and nods his head. ]

[ maybe a shift in subject? would that be good or would it just be a distraction? david nudges jeff again, this time leaning more of his weight into it. ]

Still can't believe you came and found me.

[outerfringe]

[Part of him relaxes when David doesn't argue, and the way he nudges him back is almost apologetic. Fuck, if this isn't weird. He still feels like he's in a bit of a fugue state, like this can't possibly be real.

He's looking forward to seeing David in the actual sunlight.]

Said I would.

[He takes a deep, bracing breath.]

I brought Settlers of Catan.

[He doesn't realize it's not a two player game, but he's heard a lot about it, and he'd said once he'd bring games- either a firm commitment to the bit, or just grasping onto whatever straws he can to feel like this is a normal situation.]

[hardlydead]

[ something about that catches david so off-guard that what comes out of him is a sudden, loud bark of a laugh. ]

I don't know what that is.

[outerfringe]

[God, did that laugh just make him blush? What the hell is wrong with him? He's extremely grateful that it's dark and cold.]

Board game.

[hardlydead]

A board game.

[ his tone is teasing, but that tugs loose a completely buried and forgotten memory and his awful smirk returns when he looks at jeff. ]

So you're inviting yourself to my place, is it?