@hardlydead

[outerfringe]

[One day David simply stops appearing by the fire with the rest of them, and Jeff does his very best to be relieved for him. There are only two real possible reasons for that, right? Either he'd actually died for real, or he'd managed to find a way back home- and either way, it meant that he was out of this place. Jeff tries to be happy for him, and for the most part, he is.

He doesn't think about David at all the first day after he wakes up on the cold floor of the Ormond resort, back stiff and jacket crusted with frost. Instead he's too busy finding his way back to town, organizing arrangements to make it home. His apartment key no longer works, he recognizes none of his neighbors, but his bank account was still somehow in alright standing.

Jeff finds a new place. He does not find a new dog.

He feels weird about creating a Facebook account just to check for David, but he does it anyway. When that comes up fruitless, he thinks a lot about the conversations the two of them had while tucked close together in the dark. Wonders if David would even want to be found by someone like him, to be faced with a reminder of the time they'd spent doing everything they could to simply survive.

Jeff tries to paint but can't seem to pull himself out of severe blacks and reds. Tries to catch up on the music he'd missed from the bands he'd loved but it fails to soothe him the way it had before. He considers a therapist, and then decides that he'd be locked away the second he was candid enough for someone to actually help him.

So he packs some things, books a flight. Finds himself at his fifth seedy pub in three days without much hope - except this time when he says he's looking for David King, the big guy by the bar makes a point of sizing him up. Jeff sets his shoulders, frowns and promises that he's an old friend, but it doesn't seem to affect much the scowl on the guy's face. He says something (that Jeff completely misses, he can barely understand a goddamn thing when people here are drunk and loud), but seems to indicate for him to wait.

Which he does. He parks on a stool with a drink, assumes his most unapproachable aura, and waits. He doesn't know who he's expecting to appear, but it's not David.

There's not a chance it would actually be that simple.]

Comments

[outerfringe]

[Jeff grunts in acknowledgment.]

I don't date guys without pets. Shows a lack of commitment.

[Okay yeah he's feeling the alcohol for sure.]

[hardlydead]

[ he laughs, not even registering how forward that is for jeff. ]

Maybe you can help me find the right one.

[outerfringe]

[It feels especially stupid, considering that they're both certainly working through a mountain of unprocessed trauma



but at least they had shots.]

Alright, yeah. Sign me up.

[It occurs to him that he's - well, kind of desperate to touch him. Not sexually, just generally, and the next little arm bump is disguised as an accident.]

[hardlydead]

[ david's right there with him. actually being around jeff has him aching for the stupidest little things like a hand on his back or just their thighs touching when they sat next to eachother. ]

[ nudges will do for now, and david bumps jeff back with a snort. ]

I've never had a pet, dunno what to even look for.

[ like. dog??? big dog??? can he just walk into a shelter and say that? ]

[outerfringe]

Could start small. Get a gerbil or something.

[He's trying to picture David with a gerbil and it's weirdly fucking cute.]

I keep thinking about a cat.

[It just doesn't feel okay to adopt another dog. Not yet.]

[hardlydead]

[ he scoffs, but he used to know a girl who kept rats and she wouldn't shut up about how great they were. maybe he could-- ]

[ no. nope. no rats, no birds. there's a question nobody asked answered. ]

A cat?

[ actually he can see it. jeff with a cat curled up in his lap while he plays a game, giving it little scritches behind the ears and shit. it's honestly almost offensively cute. ]

[ he tilts his head in thought. ]

I can see it.

[outerfringe]

Yeah? Maybe a deaf one. Won't have to worry about offending it with my music.

[He glances at David, expression deadpan, before it cracks up into silent laughter. He's too big a guy to be this affected by that much alcohol, right? Except he's barely drank at all since he's been back, and the adrenaline from finding David at all already has him buzzing.

He points ahead, indicating a cluster of buildings.]

Couple blocks that way.

[hardlydead]

[ fucking hell he missed that, just seeing jeff smile and laugh warms him and david smiles, full of affection just from looking at him. ]

[ 'couple of blocks' is immediately translated as a couple of blocks until he can kiss that face. he's too focused on that to even judge jeff for calling them 'blocks'. ]

And I'd tell your cat I'm jealous, but it wouldn't be able to hear me.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff is fully and tipsily unwilling to acknowledge how completely nonsensical that unit of measurement here.]

What an ass.

[Said with that same good humor, but his hands flex a bit uncomfortably in his pockets.]

Hey, man, uh-

[He clears his throat, awkward.]

Worried I might, uh. Unravel a little bit. When we're alone. It's cool if you wanna just give me a minute when we get there.

[Jeff is fairly sure he's going to cry, and while it's been firmly established that David still cares about him, he's still not going to assume he wants to be there for that.

And if nothing else, the pressure building up this time feels like relief, gratitude, instead of despair.]

[hardlydead]

[ david doesn't quite get what jeff means by 'unravel,' but he nods anyway. if he needs a moment to himself then he can have it, but that doesn't sound like that's what he's getting at. ]

Yeah-- Yeah, sure.

[ he bumps jeff with his shoulder. ]

We'll see.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff's warned him, at least, so he feels like he's done his due diligence here.

He starts rooting around in his jacket pockets for his hotel room key as they approach the building.]

So- What've you been up to, man? Back here in the real world.

[hardlydead]

Same as before, really.

[ he shrugs a shoulder. ]

Didn't see much point changing what still works.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff glances at him, brow furrowed. Thoughtful, absent of judgment.]

Does it?

[hardlydead]

[ he shrugs a shoulder. ]

As much as anything does.

[ he still doesn't feel like he really fits in this world anymore, but he's making do. meandering along. ]

[outerfringe]

Yeah. I get that.

[One final nudge, and then Jeff is leading him into a midrange custom hotel with a bored looking clerk behind the desk. The alcohol rolls unpleasantly in his stomach as he makes for the elevator.]

You can wait here or come with, up to you.

[hardlydead]

[ as if he's not going to spend every second with jeff he can get. david follows him toward the lift, looking around idly as he does. he thinks this place got built while he was gone, and it's not like he's had any cause to stay in a hotel here himself, so he hasn't seen the inside. ]

[outerfringe]

[It's pleasant in an extremely generic sort of way, and the clerk looks up from her phone just long enough to acknowledge him.

They won't have long to the fourth floor, but that doesn't matter. The second the doors close Jeff is turning to face David, crowding him slightly and reaching up to cradle his face with chilly hands.

Just proving that he's really there, maybe.]

[hardlydead]

[ david flinches a little at the touch, but he follows it with a laugh and puts his own on jeff's waist. ]

Fuck me your hands are cold.

[outerfringe]

Sorry.

[And he is, but only a little. He doesn't quite manage a laugh, his expression shuttered and a bit intense as his thumb skims David's cheek.

The door dings. He releases him quick when it opens.]

Just over here.

[hardlydead]

[ no come back-- ]

[ david's a little forlorn about the loss of contact, but he shoves his hands in his jean pockets and follows jeff to the room. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff knows you're a PRIVATE PERSON David what if someone was in the HALLWAY.

His hands are just slightly shaky as he scans the room key and shoulders the door open, holding it for David to follow him in.]

[hardlydead]

[ look he appreciates it but also he just really likes jeff's hands on him a lot. ]

[ david follows him into the room and leans against a wall, looking around again at the deeply benign decorating job. ]

How long have you been here?

[ just idly curious how long it took jeff to find him. ]

[outerfringe]

Uh. I got in- four days ago? Kind of blurred together, though. Mostly just been walking around.

[He tosses the keycard onto the little desk in the room, but halts a few steps in. Swallows hard, once and then again, before he turns toward David and closes the distance between them. If he's able to coax him away from the wall, he'll pull him into a hug that feels almost desperate and say in a voice that's quite abruptly broken:]

Just need a second.

[hardlydead]

[ he's surprised by the hug for a second, but david relaxes into it and wraps his arms tightly around jeff in return. he turns his head to brush his lips over jeff's temple. ]

Long as you need.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff seems to take that to heart. He stands there for a while, just sort of clutching David to him while he sorts out his own shaky breathing. Finally, finally, he'll whisper-]

Fuck. You're actually okay.