@hardlydead

[outerfringe]

[One day David simply stops appearing by the fire with the rest of them, and Jeff does his very best to be relieved for him. There are only two real possible reasons for that, right? Either he'd actually died for real, or he'd managed to find a way back home- and either way, it meant that he was out of this place. Jeff tries to be happy for him, and for the most part, he is.

He doesn't think about David at all the first day after he wakes up on the cold floor of the Ormond resort, back stiff and jacket crusted with frost. Instead he's too busy finding his way back to town, organizing arrangements to make it home. His apartment key no longer works, he recognizes none of his neighbors, but his bank account was still somehow in alright standing.

Jeff finds a new place. He does not find a new dog.

He feels weird about creating a Facebook account just to check for David, but he does it anyway. When that comes up fruitless, he thinks a lot about the conversations the two of them had while tucked close together in the dark. Wonders if David would even want to be found by someone like him, to be faced with a reminder of the time they'd spent doing everything they could to simply survive.

Jeff tries to paint but can't seem to pull himself out of severe blacks and reds. Tries to catch up on the music he'd missed from the bands he'd loved but it fails to soothe him the way it had before. He considers a therapist, and then decides that he'd be locked away the second he was candid enough for someone to actually help him.

So he packs some things, books a flight. Finds himself at his fifth seedy pub in three days without much hope - except this time when he says he's looking for David King, the big guy by the bar makes a point of sizing him up. Jeff sets his shoulders, frowns and promises that he's an old friend, but it doesn't seem to affect much the scowl on the guy's face. He says something (that Jeff completely misses, he can barely understand a goddamn thing when people here are drunk and loud), but seems to indicate for him to wait.

Which he does. He parks on a stool with a drink, assumes his most unapproachable aura, and waits. He doesn't know who he's expecting to appear, but it's not David.

There's not a chance it would actually be that simple.]

Comments

[outerfringe]

[Jeff glances at him, brow furrowed. Thoughtful, absent of judgment.]

Does it?

[hardlydead]

[ he shrugs a shoulder. ]

As much as anything does.

[ he still doesn't feel like he really fits in this world anymore, but he's making do. meandering along. ]

[outerfringe]

Yeah. I get that.

[One final nudge, and then Jeff is leading him into a midrange custom hotel with a bored looking clerk behind the desk. The alcohol rolls unpleasantly in his stomach as he makes for the elevator.]

You can wait here or come with, up to you.

[hardlydead]

[ as if he's not going to spend every second with jeff he can get. david follows him toward the lift, looking around idly as he does. he thinks this place got built while he was gone, and it's not like he's had any cause to stay in a hotel here himself, so he hasn't seen the inside. ]

[outerfringe]

[It's pleasant in an extremely generic sort of way, and the clerk looks up from her phone just long enough to acknowledge him.

They won't have long to the fourth floor, but that doesn't matter. The second the doors close Jeff is turning to face David, crowding him slightly and reaching up to cradle his face with chilly hands.

Just proving that he's really there, maybe.]

[hardlydead]

[ david flinches a little at the touch, but he follows it with a laugh and puts his own on jeff's waist. ]

Fuck me your hands are cold.

[outerfringe]

Sorry.

[And he is, but only a little. He doesn't quite manage a laugh, his expression shuttered and a bit intense as his thumb skims David's cheek.

The door dings. He releases him quick when it opens.]

Just over here.

[hardlydead]

[ no come back-- ]

[ david's a little forlorn about the loss of contact, but he shoves his hands in his jean pockets and follows jeff to the room. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff knows you're a PRIVATE PERSON David what if someone was in the HALLWAY.

His hands are just slightly shaky as he scans the room key and shoulders the door open, holding it for David to follow him in.]

[hardlydead]

[ look he appreciates it but also he just really likes jeff's hands on him a lot. ]

[ david follows him into the room and leans against a wall, looking around again at the deeply benign decorating job. ]

How long have you been here?

[ just idly curious how long it took jeff to find him. ]

[outerfringe]

Uh. I got in- four days ago? Kind of blurred together, though. Mostly just been walking around.

[He tosses the keycard onto the little desk in the room, but halts a few steps in. Swallows hard, once and then again, before he turns toward David and closes the distance between them. If he's able to coax him away from the wall, he'll pull him into a hug that feels almost desperate and say in a voice that's quite abruptly broken:]

Just need a second.

[hardlydead]

[ he's surprised by the hug for a second, but david relaxes into it and wraps his arms tightly around jeff in return. he turns his head to brush his lips over jeff's temple. ]

Long as you need.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff seems to take that to heart. He stands there for a while, just sort of clutching David to him while he sorts out his own shaky breathing. Finally, finally, he'll whisper-]

Fuck. You're actually okay.

[hardlydead]

Yeah.

[ he murmurs it softly, rubbing jeff's back, lips pressed to jeff's temple still. ]

I'm here, I'm fine.

[outerfringe]

[It's a familiar touch, not only because David was the last person to hold him like that. He presses his face to David's neck, taking a deep and shuddering breath, before he reluctantly starts to peel himself away.

His eyes are wet.]

Okay. I'm- good. Just couldn't do that in the pub.

[hardlydead]

Yeah.

[ he lifts a hand to jeff's cheek and sweeps a thumb under his eye, leaning in to give him a quick kiss. ]

Can't tell you how much I wanted to.

[outerfringe]

Yeah?

[He laughs, the sound a little wet, before he leans in to kiss him back quickly.]

Fuck. I was sure I was gonna get here and you- I don't know, weren't gonna remember it or something. Or just wouldn't want a reminder hanging around.

[hardlydead]

Nah. [ he shakes his head. ] Think about you all the time.

[ his laugh comes out a little sad and he glances down for a moment. ]

Fuckin' tried not to, but...

[outerfringe]

Can't believe I made that much of an impression.

[Jeff is trying to laugh, too, but it only sort of works. He backs away, heading to his suitcase. The room is still mostly tidy, but there's a sketchbook and some clothes on the bed, a laptop with a tablet hooked to a charger on the desk.]

[hardlydead]

[ david's hand lingers on jeff's back until he's too far to touch and then he wanders into the room a little more after him, glancing at the sketchbook on the bed and then to the desk. ]

Almost straight away.

[ that was a very important bottle of moonshine. ]

[outerfringe]

For being too loud? Or too quiet?

[He's misinterpreting that remark, but not unpleasantly. Focused mostly on his things, before he pulls out a board game still in shrink wrap.]

[hardlydead]

No, I mean...

[ he sighs and leans against the wall. it's tough to put into words, for a bunch of reasons. david frowns in thought. ]

I mean it was nice having someone quiet around for a change, I won't lie, always appreciated that about you. But sharing that bottle was like actually meeting you. I dunno.

[ he laughs a little awkwardly with a shake of his head and shoves his hands back in his pockets. ]

It's stupid, I know.

[outerfringe]

It's not stupid. I get it. Wasn't really a normal place. Still doesn't feel real most of the time. Fucks with your head.

[He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, the game in his lap. Listless.]

You ever-

[A pause to consider how to phrase it.]

I nearly got hit by a car like, two weeks after I was back. My own fault, I was distracted, it's whatever. I don't have a death wish, man, I'm super glad to be back, but I just kept thinking 'whatever, I've had worse,' you know?

[He pauses, then adds with a crooked smile-]

So much for quiet.

[hardlydead]

[ david huffs a laugh, it's not really amused so much as understanding. it's definitely manifested as a bit of a death wish on his part, more and more so over time, but he's always lived close to that line. no surprise to anybody. ]

I... Had a job not long after I got back, down in Nottingham. Fella tried to pull a weapon on me and I laughed. Nothin' compared to having a fucking bog witch eat my guts, y'know?

[ he shrugs ]

So I get it, yeah.

[outerfringe]

[Okay well that's enough to snap Jeff out of his own head, especially when he's a little drunk.

He Frowns at David.]

Only tried?

[did you get stabbed pal]