@hardlydead

[outerfringe]

[One day David simply stops appearing by the fire with the rest of them, and Jeff does his very best to be relieved for him. There are only two real possible reasons for that, right? Either he'd actually died for real, or he'd managed to find a way back home- and either way, it meant that he was out of this place. Jeff tries to be happy for him, and for the most part, he is.

He doesn't think about David at all the first day after he wakes up on the cold floor of the Ormond resort, back stiff and jacket crusted with frost. Instead he's too busy finding his way back to town, organizing arrangements to make it home. His apartment key no longer works, he recognizes none of his neighbors, but his bank account was still somehow in alright standing.

Jeff finds a new place. He does not find a new dog.

He feels weird about creating a Facebook account just to check for David, but he does it anyway. When that comes up fruitless, he thinks a lot about the conversations the two of them had while tucked close together in the dark. Wonders if David would even want to be found by someone like him, to be faced with a reminder of the time they'd spent doing everything they could to simply survive.

Jeff tries to paint but can't seem to pull himself out of severe blacks and reds. Tries to catch up on the music he'd missed from the bands he'd loved but it fails to soothe him the way it had before. He considers a therapist, and then decides that he'd be locked away the second he was candid enough for someone to actually help him.

So he packs some things, books a flight. Finds himself at his fifth seedy pub in three days without much hope - except this time when he says he's looking for David King, the big guy by the bar makes a point of sizing him up. Jeff sets his shoulders, frowns and promises that he's an old friend, but it doesn't seem to affect much the scowl on the guy's face. He says something (that Jeff completely misses, he can barely understand a goddamn thing when people here are drunk and loud), but seems to indicate for him to wait.

Which he does. He parks on a stool with a drink, assumes his most unapproachable aura, and waits. He doesn't know who he's expecting to appear, but it's not David.

There's not a chance it would actually be that simple.]

Comments

[outerfringe]

David.

[jeff's laugh is a little surprised.]

What's the worst they could have done- beat me up? Terrifying.

[hardlydead]

Could've put you in the hospital and then I wouldn't have seen you at all.

[ so there ]

[outerfringe]

[He folds his arms on the table, leaning forward and pointing at David with a piece of crust.]

You think people are gonna put me in hospital for asking about you? Jesus, man. What an ego.

[it's such a soft deadpan, fully kidding.]

[hardlydead]

[ david laughs and covers his mouth so no errant pieces of chewed bread escape. ]

Next you're gonna tell me I'm not the centre of the universe and I don't think I wanna hear it.

[outerfringe]

[That shouldn't be attractive. Jeff shouldn't feel completely in love right now, but he does. He flusters hard and ducks his head, grinning at his own hands.]

I'd never say that.

[hardlydead]

[ oh no, oh man, that's so cute? how is this man so cute? david smiles behind his hand, honestly completely forgetting there are other people here for a moment as he looks at jeff and shakes his head. ]

You're too good to me.

[outerfringe]

Nah. Just feeling grateful for the right things, I guess. [the waitress doesn't actually engage even she grabs their glasses to refill them, instead just silently grateful they're not trying to drag her into conversation. Jeff tries to snap out of it, to not let it get weird.]

Not your birthday is it? Bet they sing when they bring out cake.

[hardlydead]

[ he startles a little when the waitress takes their glasses, eyes flicking up to her in a brief panic, but she honestly could not give less of a shit and david settles after that brief moment, clears his throat. ]

C'mon, don't do that to them.

[outerfringe]

[He can't help but notice that. And he knows, he knows that David is trying, that he wants to push his own boundaries here, Jeff can't help the surge of protectiveness that rises up when he reads that panic in his shoulders. David who'd spent so much time and energy protecting everyone else, who deserved to be protected, too.]

-- hey, c'mon. Let's just get our food to go.

[It's a whisper, but said with a sincere smile.]

I mean it. I don't care about anyone else. Who knows what or whatever.

[hardlydead]

[ david leans forward on his elbows, shakes his head with a small and slightly tired smile. ]

I'm fine-- Promise.

[outerfringe]

Hey. Okay. If you're sure.

[there's a moment where he wants to reach out, to touch David's wrist, but his hands flex uncomfortably in his lap instead. The waitress deposits their drinks back onto the tabletop and disappears again.]

[hardlydead]

[ he's trying very hard to be aware of his own limits, to know when he's forcing it too much. it's not something david has ever been particularly good at in any respect, but he thinks he's managing here. the brief panics are okay — exhausting, but ultimately they pass quick and then it's over — he hasn't yet bumped up against that bone-deep fear that tells him he's wrong-- or worse. he can manage this. ]

[ he nudges jeff's foot with his own and nods. ]

I'll tell you if I'm not okay.

[outerfringe]

Yeah. Sure.

[Maybe he, too, has to accept that his own protective impulse is selfish in its own way. It's just more to think about, and he silences himself by checking his phone again and letting his expression crumple in something like vague amusement.]

Sorry. Told the guys I'm busy, but they're way too energetic for forty-somethings. Pushing fifty, actually, I guess, gotta be.

[hardlydead]

They're excited to hear from you.

[ he leans back in his seat with a shrug. ]

I'd be blowin' up your phone too if I just found out you're still alive after however many years.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff cuts his eyes up from his phone when their food is dropped off, but waits to talk until she's gone.]

Bet you didn't check a single bar for me.

[hardlydead]

[ oh-- he knows it's a joke but it still hits like a firetruck and david frowns, looks down at the table guiltily. he shouldn't ever have stopped looking, and he hates that he did. ]

[ but it's a joke! it's funny and lighthearted! david shakes it off and shrugs a shoulder. ]

Feel like them bands I listened to were plenty of work on my part.

[outerfringe]

Hey. None of that.

[A gentle nudge to his calf beneath the table again, and he unfolds his silverware.]

Gave me something to look forward to. Hoping you were back home.

[hardlydead]

Still feels like I should've done more.

[ he sighs, shakes his head, they both know there's no easy solution to that kind of guilt. can't just use reason or logic to get rid of it, but one thing the trials gave him at least was practice at refocusing himself so he doesn't spiral. he exhales heavily, a kind of 'okay i'm done,' and looks up at jeff. ]

Both here now though. Can't ask for more than that.

[outerfringe]

Yeah. I get it.

[Jeff spins some of the pasta around his fork, apparently made thoughtful by the sum of David's remarks.]

Keep thinking I should - dunno. Take some mechanical classes or something. Get into marathon running. In case we get sent back, you know? [The actual question is unspoken, did you worry about that shit too?]

[hardlydead]

Flunked out of a first aid course. Turns out some skills don't transfer.

[ it's surprisingly difficult to wrap your head around the recovery position when it's so different to laying prone and/or desperately army crawling while bleeding out. but maybe he'll try again now that it's been a while. ]

[outerfringe]

[this is a date. it's meant to be a date, not a moment for them to air more trauma, but Jeff is asking the question before he even realizes what he's doing. Whoops.]

Life feel normal yet?

[hardlydead]

[ check it out, david's got this. ]

With you it does.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff groans quietly, but the tension really is broken.]

How long have you been sitting on that one?

[hardlydead]

[ his laughter is near-silent, but david looks pretty pleased with that response, even if he was telling the truth. ]

Came up with it on the fly.

[outerfringe]

[He grins at him, subtly enough that a stranger might not really catch it. Voice low enough that it's private-]

And I can't kiss you until we get home. Dick.