@hardlydead

[outerfringe]

[One day David simply stops appearing by the fire with the rest of them, and Jeff does his very best to be relieved for him. There are only two real possible reasons for that, right? Either he'd actually died for real, or he'd managed to find a way back home- and either way, it meant that he was out of this place. Jeff tries to be happy for him, and for the most part, he is.

He doesn't think about David at all the first day after he wakes up on the cold floor of the Ormond resort, back stiff and jacket crusted with frost. Instead he's too busy finding his way back to town, organizing arrangements to make it home. His apartment key no longer works, he recognizes none of his neighbors, but his bank account was still somehow in alright standing.

Jeff finds a new place. He does not find a new dog.

He feels weird about creating a Facebook account just to check for David, but he does it anyway. When that comes up fruitless, he thinks a lot about the conversations the two of them had while tucked close together in the dark. Wonders if David would even want to be found by someone like him, to be faced with a reminder of the time they'd spent doing everything they could to simply survive.

Jeff tries to paint but can't seem to pull himself out of severe blacks and reds. Tries to catch up on the music he'd missed from the bands he'd loved but it fails to soothe him the way it had before. He considers a therapist, and then decides that he'd be locked away the second he was candid enough for someone to actually help him.

So he packs some things, books a flight. Finds himself at his fifth seedy pub in three days without much hope - except this time when he says he's looking for David King, the big guy by the bar makes a point of sizing him up. Jeff sets his shoulders, frowns and promises that he's an old friend, but it doesn't seem to affect much the scowl on the guy's face. He says something (that Jeff completely misses, he can barely understand a goddamn thing when people here are drunk and loud), but seems to indicate for him to wait.

Which he does. He parks on a stool with a drink, assumes his most unapproachable aura, and waits. He doesn't know who he's expecting to appear, but it's not David.

There's not a chance it would actually be that simple.]

Comments

[outerfringe]

[Okay, the little head tilt catches him off guard and he gives David a look that could be playfully accusatory.]

Sure, get an eyeful.

[hardlydead]

[ he looks up to meet jeff's eyes with a grin, completely unapologetic. ]

That's what I'm tryin' to do.

[outerfringe]

Trying to get me to keep up the situps.

[But he's heading to the bathroom.]

[hardlydead]

[ david barks a sharp and sudden laugh at that, surprised, grin still on his face. ]

I'm just helping. You said they helped your back.

[outerfringe]

I don't think I'm ever gonna manage abs, if that's what you're waiting on.

[He hesitates in the bathroom, considering both the sink and the shower.]

[hardlydead]

Nah, I don't give a shit about that.

[ finally david elects to get out of bed and follow jeff to the bathroom, hesitating a moment for the same reason before he decides fuck it and reaches for a washcloth. if jeff wants to shower david's not gonna stop him, but he highly doubts either of them intend to go back out at any point. he can shower in the morning. ]

[outerfringe]

Seems like it'd be important to you.

[Jeff clearly isn't struggling with issues of self-esteem here. David seems genuinely into him, and he is blatantly happy to accept that. It's curiosity more than anything else, even as he reaches to take that washcloth from David, meaning to get it damp and perform some #aftercare on the other man.]

[hardlydead]

For me.

[ he pauses, a little surprised when jeff takes the cloth, but he doesn't stop him. just moves a bit so he has easy access to the sink. ]

I used to, I guess, when I were young, but now...

[ he punctuates with a shrug. there's a million different ways to be attractive, he's learned. and also most of the guys with bodies like his are exhausting and annoying to be around. ]

[outerfringe]

Sure, I get it.

[Jeff hums in acknowledgment, wetting the cloth. He waits until David trails off to kiss his mouth, then his shoulder.]

Lay back down, I got you. [He swipes David's hip with the warm rag to indicate it.]

[hardlydead]

[ david raises an eyebrow at the... request? offer? a little confused, but it seems like something jeff wants to do so fair enough. he nods and walks back into the bedroom and lays down, feeling a bit silly all of a sudden. ]

[outerfringe]

[It's silly and awkward, but so is walking around naked. So is sex, really, and for once, Jeff seems mostly unbothered by his own silliness as he settles beside him and wipes clean anywhere that might need it. David's face first, gently, swiping down the side of his neck, but down to his stomach, too, his dick and thighs.]

One of the guys I used to tour with. He's down in Bristol, now, I guess. Haven't talked to him, yet, but that's what Facebook said.

[hardlydead]

[ this is so intimate in a way that david is entirely unaccustomed to, and he sort of just lays there stiff and awkward, not quite able to look up at jeff's face. he's been cleaned, to an extent, by other people, but those were different circumstances. a nurse doing their job to help someone who'd gotten overzealous on the pitch. awkward and mortifying, sure, but not intimate like this. ]

[ one might think talking would help make him relax a little, but david's expression twitches in a brief frown instead, and he's not entirely sure why. it's not like jeff said anything that should upset him. still, it takes him an extra moment to reply. ]

You should've reached out. Go visit or something before you head back.

[outerfringe]

[He can read that stiffness, and wonders suddenly if this was crossing a line. Sex is great, but intimacy is something he feels like he's craved most of his adult life, and maybe it was too much too quick. Maybe they still needed time to get to know each other.

Jeff finishes up quick and tries not to be too obvious about that. He's gotten pretty good through his life at keeping his expression carefully neutral when he's feeling a kind of way.]

Nah. Don't know we'd have much in common these days.

[hardlydead]

[ that makes him relax, or at least exhale softly through his nose, and he looks up at jeff. expression quietly thoughtful despite glossing entirely over the why of it, and david reaches up with the closer hand to find jeff's face. this was very sweet of him, regardless of how stiff and weird david was. ]

If you're sure.

[ that's fine by him and he's definitely not jealous ]

[outerfringe]

Yeah. Imagine. 'Sorry for ghosting you completely, I'm randomly in the country you moved to, heard any good music the last couple years?'

[He gently touches the hand at his face and then pulls away, trying to figure out how to indicate it's okay, you don't need to do that. Jeff finds himself at a loss, then, and holds up a hand, indicating the bathroom as he stands up.]

Back in two seconds.

[hardlydead]

Not the worst thing you could say.

[ he watches jeff get up and go, frowning a little when he's not being looked at anymore. sure messed that all up. good job, david. ]

[outerfringe]

[He'd shower, but it feels strange to ask to borrow shampoo now, to ask where the towels are, to change back into already worn clothes. So he cleans up quickly, inspects himself in the mirror, and grabs his boxers on the way back to the bed. Pulls them on before he drops back down to a seat, folding one leg onto the mattress with him.]

Nah. Gonna spare both me and him.

[hardlydead]

[ david rolls to his side when jeff sits on the bed, puts a hand on his knee just for the contact. he's quiet for a few moments other than the soft noise he makes to acknowledge what jeff's said, and then looks up at him with a small, apologetic frown. ]

Sorry.

[ he knows jeff's probably going to tell him not to be sorry, but he is. genuine intimacy and tenderness are both things he's trying to learn very quickly, but he's still got some work there. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff doesn't, because he simply Misinterprets The Apology instead. He pats David's hand softly, but his eyes are locked on the wall, expression still slightly shuttered.]

Hey, it's fine. People grow apart. Even when one of them isn't abducted by some spider god.

[hardlydead]

No-- [ he breathes out through his nose, it's very nearly a laugh. ] I mean about before. For being so awkward.

[ also stop? talking about your old cool band friend??? ]

[outerfringe]

[The dude is happily married with like four kids, it doesn't even occur to him that David might be annoyed to hear it.]

Huh? [That does get Jeff to actually look over at him, though.] Awkward's kind of my brand. It's fine.

[hardlydead]

Yeah, I know, I just...

[ he trails off into a soft, breathy laugh. still embarrassed, but he can find the humour in it all. ]

You're being all sweet, and I'm laying there stiff as a board thinking "the fuck do I do?"

[ he gives jeff's knee a light squeeze ]

Not my greatest moment.

[outerfringe]

Oh. [It's his turn to look a little embarrassed now.] Honestly, it's fine. I like looking after people.

[He's had a lot more casual on the road hookups than real relationships, admittedly, and those usually had him playing the part of a gruff, edgy biker. He enjoys the luxury of just getting to be himself.]

[hardlydead]

I'm not good at that. [ he looks at his hand on jeff's knee, brushes his thumb back and forth. ] Being looked after.

[outerfringe]

[He watches that hand, his expression furrowed in distant thought.]

I'll rein it in.