@hardlydead

[outerfringe]

[One day David simply stops appearing by the fire with the rest of them, and Jeff does his very best to be relieved for him. There are only two real possible reasons for that, right? Either he'd actually died for real, or he'd managed to find a way back home- and either way, it meant that he was out of this place. Jeff tries to be happy for him, and for the most part, he is.

He doesn't think about David at all the first day after he wakes up on the cold floor of the Ormond resort, back stiff and jacket crusted with frost. Instead he's too busy finding his way back to town, organizing arrangements to make it home. His apartment key no longer works, he recognizes none of his neighbors, but his bank account was still somehow in alright standing.

Jeff finds a new place. He does not find a new dog.

He feels weird about creating a Facebook account just to check for David, but he does it anyway. When that comes up fruitless, he thinks a lot about the conversations the two of them had while tucked close together in the dark. Wonders if David would even want to be found by someone like him, to be faced with a reminder of the time they'd spent doing everything they could to simply survive.

Jeff tries to paint but can't seem to pull himself out of severe blacks and reds. Tries to catch up on the music he'd missed from the bands he'd loved but it fails to soothe him the way it had before. He considers a therapist, and then decides that he'd be locked away the second he was candid enough for someone to actually help him.

So he packs some things, books a flight. Finds himself at his fifth seedy pub in three days without much hope - except this time when he says he's looking for David King, the big guy by the bar makes a point of sizing him up. Jeff sets his shoulders, frowns and promises that he's an old friend, but it doesn't seem to affect much the scowl on the guy's face. He says something (that Jeff completely misses, he can barely understand a goddamn thing when people here are drunk and loud), but seems to indicate for him to wait.

Which he does. He parks on a stool with a drink, assumes his most unapproachable aura, and waits. He doesn't know who he's expecting to appear, but it's not David.

There's not a chance it would actually be that simple.]

Comments

[hardlydead]

[ that makes him relax, or at least exhale softly through his nose, and he looks up at jeff. expression quietly thoughtful despite glossing entirely over the why of it, and david reaches up with the closer hand to find jeff's face. this was very sweet of him, regardless of how stiff and weird david was. ]

If you're sure.

[ that's fine by him and he's definitely not jealous ]

[outerfringe]

Yeah. Imagine. 'Sorry for ghosting you completely, I'm randomly in the country you moved to, heard any good music the last couple years?'

[He gently touches the hand at his face and then pulls away, trying to figure out how to indicate it's okay, you don't need to do that. Jeff finds himself at a loss, then, and holds up a hand, indicating the bathroom as he stands up.]

Back in two seconds.

[hardlydead]

Not the worst thing you could say.

[ he watches jeff get up and go, frowning a little when he's not being looked at anymore. sure messed that all up. good job, david. ]

[outerfringe]

[He'd shower, but it feels strange to ask to borrow shampoo now, to ask where the towels are, to change back into already worn clothes. So he cleans up quickly, inspects himself in the mirror, and grabs his boxers on the way back to the bed. Pulls them on before he drops back down to a seat, folding one leg onto the mattress with him.]

Nah. Gonna spare both me and him.

[hardlydead]

[ david rolls to his side when jeff sits on the bed, puts a hand on his knee just for the contact. he's quiet for a few moments other than the soft noise he makes to acknowledge what jeff's said, and then looks up at him with a small, apologetic frown. ]

Sorry.

[ he knows jeff's probably going to tell him not to be sorry, but he is. genuine intimacy and tenderness are both things he's trying to learn very quickly, but he's still got some work there. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff doesn't, because he simply Misinterprets The Apology instead. He pats David's hand softly, but his eyes are locked on the wall, expression still slightly shuttered.]

Hey, it's fine. People grow apart. Even when one of them isn't abducted by some spider god.

[hardlydead]

No-- [ he breathes out through his nose, it's very nearly a laugh. ] I mean about before. For being so awkward.

[ also stop? talking about your old cool band friend??? ]

[outerfringe]

[The dude is happily married with like four kids, it doesn't even occur to him that David might be annoyed to hear it.]

Huh? [That does get Jeff to actually look over at him, though.] Awkward's kind of my brand. It's fine.

[hardlydead]

Yeah, I know, I just...

[ he trails off into a soft, breathy laugh. still embarrassed, but he can find the humour in it all. ]

You're being all sweet, and I'm laying there stiff as a board thinking "the fuck do I do?"

[ he gives jeff's knee a light squeeze ]

Not my greatest moment.

[outerfringe]

Oh. [It's his turn to look a little embarrassed now.] Honestly, it's fine. I like looking after people.

[He's had a lot more casual on the road hookups than real relationships, admittedly, and those usually had him playing the part of a gruff, edgy biker. He enjoys the luxury of just getting to be himself.]

[hardlydead]

I'm not good at that. [ he looks at his hand on jeff's knee, brushes his thumb back and forth. ] Being looked after.

[outerfringe]

[He watches that hand, his expression furrowed in distant thought.]

I'll rein it in.

[hardlydead]

No. [ he shakes his head. ] I've just got some shit to work on.

[ it's just toxic macho bullshit telling him it's an unacceptable weakness to let someone take care of him for a bit, that's all! no big deal. ]

[outerfringe]

[The kneejerk reaction is uncertainty. Displeasure, maybe, that David feels like he needs to change - but he knows that sometimes people really do. So he shrugs, ruminates, before answering.]

Long as you're working on it for yourself. Not because you think you need to be something else.

[hardlydead]

[ he very nearly laughs, but that's fair. david still raises his eyebrows when he looks up at jeff's expression. ]

Do I seem like someone who's ever tried to change for somebody else?

[ quite the opposite really, at least how he sees himself. his stubbornness and reticence to change are often to his own detriment more than anything. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff strokes his fingers over David's forehead, cautiously affectionate.]

Dunno. I try not to assume about folks.

[hardlydead]

[ he tilts his head a little toward jeff's hand, encouraging. ]

Well I'm not.

[outerfringe]

[The encouragement is more than enough to keep him going. The touch is soft, light.]

Okay. I'll keep that in mind.

[hardlydead]

[ he's content to let that lie, just quietly enjoying the touch of jeff's hand. after some of that though, he gives his leg a light jostle. ]

So you gonna come down here or not?

[outerfringe]

Could. Think you still owe me dinner, though. [He's not really hungry, to be fair- it's gentle banter, even as he starts to let himself slip downward, get comfortable.]

[hardlydead]

C'mere and tell me what you're in the mood for then.

[ he smiles up at jeff, waiting for him to lay down so he can get in his business. ]

[outerfringe]

[He's clearly a little surprised when David gets in his business - but he's not at all displeased. Jeff tucks up close to him, expression gently amused.]

What do English people eat? Beans on toast? Blood pudding?

[hardlydead]

[ david pulls himself right up against jeff and slips his arm around him. vast improvement. much better. laughing suddenly at jeff's thoughts on british food. ]

That's what you're getting for brekkie tomorrow.

[outerfringe]

[He doesn't hate this. In fact, he's just going to tip his forehead against David's, close enough that it's hard to focus his eyes.]

Fine. Feeding you poutine for every meal.

[hardlydead]

I'm Northern, mate. Practically raised on chips and gravy.

[ and who doesn't love some squeaky cheese? ]