@hardlydead

[outerfringe]

[One day David simply stops appearing by the fire with the rest of them, and Jeff does his very best to be relieved for him. There are only two real possible reasons for that, right? Either he'd actually died for real, or he'd managed to find a way back home- and either way, it meant that he was out of this place. Jeff tries to be happy for him, and for the most part, he is.

He doesn't think about David at all the first day after he wakes up on the cold floor of the Ormond resort, back stiff and jacket crusted with frost. Instead he's too busy finding his way back to town, organizing arrangements to make it home. His apartment key no longer works, he recognizes none of his neighbors, but his bank account was still somehow in alright standing.

Jeff finds a new place. He does not find a new dog.

He feels weird about creating a Facebook account just to check for David, but he does it anyway. When that comes up fruitless, he thinks a lot about the conversations the two of them had while tucked close together in the dark. Wonders if David would even want to be found by someone like him, to be faced with a reminder of the time they'd spent doing everything they could to simply survive.

Jeff tries to paint but can't seem to pull himself out of severe blacks and reds. Tries to catch up on the music he'd missed from the bands he'd loved but it fails to soothe him the way it had before. He considers a therapist, and then decides that he'd be locked away the second he was candid enough for someone to actually help him.

So he packs some things, books a flight. Finds himself at his fifth seedy pub in three days without much hope - except this time when he says he's looking for David King, the big guy by the bar makes a point of sizing him up. Jeff sets his shoulders, frowns and promises that he's an old friend, but it doesn't seem to affect much the scowl on the guy's face. He says something (that Jeff completely misses, he can barely understand a goddamn thing when people here are drunk and loud), but seems to indicate for him to wait.

Which he does. He parks on a stool with a drink, assumes his most unapproachable aura, and waits. He doesn't know who he's expecting to appear, but it's not David.

There's not a chance it would actually be that simple.]

Comments

[outerfringe]

Alright.

[Jeff takes a breath, bracing himself, and then picks the fork back up. Resumes eating, as if hoping that will prove to David that he doesn't suddenly find him despicable. Eventually, he'll say:]

I don't like it. But it probably wasn't easy to share. So thanks. For telling me, when you could have not.

[hardlydead]

[ david finds his appetite has very suddenly gone, and he's pushing a piece of carrot around the plate with that deepset frown still on his face. feeling like he should say or do something but he has no idea what. ]

[ he's talking before his brain's fully gone over the words, making excuses already for jeff to pull out. ]

Look, if you-- if you wanna leave, I wouldn't blame you.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff thinks if he were more naturally charismatic, he might know the best thing to say to communicate I'm a little uncomfortable, but this doesn't change how I feel about you. How is it still too much to admit that there are feelings there? Ugh.

But instead he simply cuts him off with a firm, gentle-]

I'm not leaving without you.

[and resumes eating.]

[hardlydead]

I-- [ that surprises him, maybe more than it should, and stares at jeff in silence for a moment, and then he nods. ] Okay.

[outerfringe]

[Well, he's not super happy with the surprise, either. Jeff hesitates visibly, and then tries-]

I've got it pretty bad for you, man. Even after a year in different places. You've figured that much out, probably?

[hardlydead]

[ has he figured that out? jeff came out here from canada, asked around after him, spent the day respectfully keeping his distance while they were out, and david still has it in him to be surprised that jeff wants to be with him? ]

[ he reaches out, just to put a hand on jeff's arm, and sighs softly. there's a bunch of ways he could explain himself, but he settles on: ] I'm sorry.

[outerfringe]

For what?

[Jeff reaches over, just so he can slide his hand over David's. Neither of them are delicate or dainty, but he doesn't mind.]

We're still figuring each other out. Still grossly into you, if it helps.

[hardlydead]

Feeling's mutual.

[ david gives jeff's arm a little squeeze, just a small gesture of affection. ]

Just... Been a long time, I guess. Still trippin' myself up.

[outerfringe]

Since what? If I can ask.

[Since they've seen each other? Since David has talked about his job? Since he's had someone over? The possibilities are endless.]

[hardlydead]

Since, uh...

[ he takes his free hand to scratch his head a little awkwardly, a small frown of discomfort at what he's about to say on his face, and he swallows. it shouldn't even feel like a lot, but it does. ]

Since I was with anybody I cared about.

[outerfringe]

Yeah. Same. Dunno what kind of boyfriend I'll be.

[Long distance, still finding his footing back in the real world...]

Hanging out with you makes me wanna try, though. Hope that's okay.

[hardlydead]

[ david smiles, it's a brief, small one, but it's also bright and exceptionally happy. ]

I guess it's fine.

he can have little a happy, as a treat

[outerfringe]

Okay.

[There's relief in his face, subtle but present, and he peels David's hand from his arm so he can press a kiss to his palm.]

Finish eating.

i don't know that sounds like a lot to me

[hardlydead]

[ he smiles again at the kiss, takes a moment to tuck some stray hair behind jeff's ear in another little gesture of affection. ]

Yes sir.

[ teasing as he picks up his fork to get back to his food. ]

[outerfringe]

[The little gestures of affection always seem to trip him up, but not in a bad way. He wants to ask if David's employers will be okay with him just fucking off for a while, but... well, that's David's business, right?

Finally, after some silence, he'll pipe up-]

You said you did classics?

[hardlydead]

Yeah.

[ he looks up, pausing around a mouthful of rice, curious. ]

Why?

sorry, lots of travel again :)

[outerfringe]

Which ones are worth reading?

[It's a gentle joke, just trying to ease the conversation into a more neutral territory.]

They can't all actually be, you know. Classic.

no worries! i was gonna ask but then... i forgot......

[hardlydead]

[ he definitely opens his mouth to explain that classic refers to the era not... the quality. it clicks before he starts speaking at least that jeff isn't being totally serious and he tilts his head a bit in thought. it's been over a decade, but. ]

Depends on what you're looking for, I guess. The Golden Ass is weirdly underrated considering it's the only ancient Roman book we've got the whole thing of. [ he pauses, takes a mouthful of food and starts talking-- and then catches himself and swallows the food before he goes on. ] It's about a fella who's obsessed with magic and tries to turn himself into a bird, but he fucks it up.

<3

[outerfringe]

[Jeff went to art school; he's familiar with the concept of a Classics focus in passing, but he'd always been a lot more interested in ancient mythology than literature. He knows enough to make this lopsided joke, but he seems sincerely amused by the answer.]

How's he fuck it up?

[It's a genuine curiosity.]

Is it supposed to be - god, what are they fuckin' called. A fable.

you're good aside from Travel Hell tho?

[hardlydead]

Closer to a satire or a black comedy really.

[ he narrows his eyes in thought, trying to decide if that's accurate, but it'll do. it's kinda hard to explain ancient genres by modern definitions sometimes. ]

Bloke's a noble but he turns himself into a donkey — an ass — and 'cause of it he gets made into a workin' animal. Sees what all the slaves and the lower classes are going through.

yep! you too i hope :)

[outerfringe]

[Jeff takes a measured bite, chewing slowly more out of thought than a desire to savor the taste. He's enjoying it, but he's considering something else, and he furrows his brow just slightly as he tips his head at David.

Finally, with gravity, he'll ask:]

You rather be a donkey or an elephant?

yeah good enough, could be worse etc.

[hardlydead]

[ well that surprises david enough that he starts to laugh but chokes on his food instead, coughing a couple times before he asks ]

--What?

#holidays........

[outerfringe]

[Jeff's look only grows more seriously.]

Elephants, you know? Gray. Big ears. Big all around, actually.

one day we'll get to rest

[hardlydead]

I know what elephants are.

[ cough cough. he does actually give it some thought, he's probably more like a donkey than an elephant he thinks, but if he had to choose. ]

Elephant I guess, why?

sounds like a lie

[outerfringe]

Dunno. That's the kind of shit people ask on dates, isn't it?

[He just kind of awkwardly indicates their dinner.]

You want me to google some better questions? I've got some data left.