outerfringe | @hardlydead

@hardlydead

[One day David simply stops appearing by the fire with the rest of them, and Jeff does his very best to be relieved for him. There are only two real possible reasons for that, right? Either he'd actually died for real, or he'd managed to find a way back home- and either way, it meant that he was out of this place. Jeff tries to be happy for him, and for the most part, he is.

He doesn't think about David at all the first day after he wakes up on the cold floor of the Ormond resort, back stiff and jacket crusted with frost. Instead he's too busy finding his way back to town, organizing arrangements to make it home. His apartment key no longer works, he recognizes none of his neighbors, but his bank account was still somehow in alright standing.

Jeff finds a new place. He does not find a new dog.

He feels weird about creating a Facebook account just to check for David, but he does it anyway. When that comes up fruitless, he thinks a lot about the conversations the two of them had while tucked close together in the dark. Wonders if David would even want to be found by someone like him, to be faced with a reminder of the time they'd spent doing everything they could to simply survive.

Jeff tries to paint but can't seem to pull himself out of severe blacks and reds. Tries to catch up on the music he'd missed from the bands he'd loved but it fails to soothe him the way it had before. He considers a therapist, and then decides that he'd be locked away the second he was candid enough for someone to actually help him.

So he packs some things, books a flight. Finds himself at his fifth seedy pub in three days without much hope - except this time when he says he's looking for David King, the big guy by the bar makes a point of sizing him up. Jeff sets his shoulders, frowns and promises that he's an old friend, but it doesn't seem to affect much the scowl on the guy's face. He says something (that Jeff completely misses, he can barely understand a goddamn thing when people here are drunk and loud), but seems to indicate for him to wait.

Which he does. He parks on a stool with a drink, assumes his most unapproachable aura, and waits. He doesn't know who he's expecting to appear, but it's not David.

There's not a chance it would actually be that simple.]

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[ he leans forward and puts his other hand on jeff's shoulder like he's about to say something important. ]

You don't have to be a car guy to appreciate cool stunts.

[Jeff leans in.]

Is this the hill you're really ready to-

[... and then trails off, his expression suddenly sour.]

Wow, that feels like a shit thing to say to someone now.

[ david frowns when jeff trails off and squeezes his shoulder. ]

I mean, I've died on a few hills. [ shrug emoji ] At least this one's funny.

Broad definition of the word funny.

[But he relaxes under the shoulder squeeze.]

Alright, sure, whatever. Is there- Do the movies actually have plot? Should I watch them chronologically?

Uh, depends.

[ he takes his hand off jeff's shoulder to scratch his chin. ]

I mean, yeah, there's a plot, so it depends on if you wanna watch them in the order they came out or the order things happen.

It's different?

[Is this Star Wars with cars or??]

[ he tilts his head a bit in thought. ] It's really just Tokyo Drift, I guess. It's the third one, but it doesn't happen until after six.

[ a beat, and then ]

Hobbs and Shaw's in there somewhere too. I wanna say between eight and nine...

[Jeff doesn't break eye contact, his eyebrows still up.]

You're fucking with me now.

[ he shakes his head. ]

I'm really not.

I'm gonna have to smoke some weed while I watch these movies.

[ he's not going to say that's a good idea, but it's probably a good idea. david smiles warmly though. ]

Are you seriously gonna? You don't have to.

-I don't have to watch the movies, or I don't have to smoke the weed?

[Posed like a Very Serious question.]

You don't have to watch the movies. You might have to smoke the weed.

Nah. You listened to my music. Didn't even ask you to.

[Mock beleaguered.]

Maybe I'll like them.

[ he genuinely can't believe the day has turned into somehow convincing jeff to watch all of the fast and tge furious movies? that's so stupid. david shakes his head, struck by how surreal this all is. ]

Fuckin' nuts, right? This?

[ he pats jeff's shoulder a little for emphasis. ]

Thought of a million little things to keep me going while we were in there, but I never thought...

[ he trails off, struggling for the words and kind of regretting what he's said so far, worried it'll shift the mood too much. but it's insane, and if david lets himself think about it at all it's overwhelming. ]

[Jeff, meanwhile, sees that little thread and jumps on it. Grips it tight, because he's not let himself talk about it too much, think about it too much, either - but it still plagues him relentlessly. When he sleeps. Hell, most of the time when he simply closes his eyes for too long.]

What did you think about?

[They'd talked, of course, when it was just them, when they'd begun to open up with each other. Jeff seems slightly desperate to touch on that again. Something familiar.]

You know what I mean.

[ there's a fantasy that lives in a box in the back of his mind; where he brings jeff to meet his parents and they love him, they think he's great, they see how happy he makes their son and couldn't be happier about it. The kind of thing people with decent parents and normal lives get to have. ]

[ he gets caught on the edge of that one when jeff asks and has to shake himself out of it. david prefers the ones that are a little bit more realistic. he raises his eyebrows until jeff adds that qualifier and frown because there's no way to dance around his discomfort. ]

Stupid, mundane shit.

[ his laugh is a little self-conscious, eyes cast down at his lap. ]

Just thought about how good it'd be to be able to do normal things, you know? Go pictures, get dinner. Fucking, I dunno. Walk a dog?

[He's curious about the discomfort. There's no way not to be. He finds himself wanting to know everything about David, even after so long apart - what are the things things that make a guy like him self-conscious?]

We could. Uh. Do some of that today, if you wanted.

[And now he's the slightly self-conscious one. Is David even out? He has no fucking idea.]

Or we could just hang out here. I'm easy, man.

You're gonna have to come back soon. Two days ain't enough.

[ completely dancing around the actual question? maybe. but somehow that's easier than just deciding what to do with their day. ]

Or I could come to you. Not like I can't put things here down for a while.

[It's- weirdly heartening to know that David wants to meet up again soon already. He'd worried that maybe this was a one-off thing - that he'd find David, that things would dwindle to occasional awkward check-ins.

And they still might. But maybe not.

He's reaching for his phone again, trying to pretend to be distracted, to be completely casual.]

Could extend the trip a little. Or you could fly back with me. Boring as hell flight, though.

I'll come with you.

[ he practically leaps on to that one, and yeah he felt self-conscious before, but that really only makes it intensify. is it too eager? but he thinks over there he could maybe just... relax in a way he can't here, not yet. ]

[ and there's a part of him, a fucked up stupid part, that thinks he needs to see how they actually are together. most backwards-ass thing in the world, catching himself thinking how he's not gonna come out for a guy who'll be sick of him in a month. but the thought's there, so david's just doing his best to work around it. ]

[ he clears his throat awkwardly. ]

Said you were gonna show me the dog parks, right?

[The willingness catches Jeff by surprise, and it's brief but clear on his face. He seems glad about it, though.

He likes David in a way he hasn't liked a lot of people. And, more selfishly than that - he doesn't think he'll be ready to be alone again in two days.]

Yeah. But I don't really have much furniture again yet. Or, um, a dog.

Just put me on the floor, I'll be fine.

[ or rather he lives in constant denial that he's ageing and these things have consequences once you pass 25, but really what's the difference? he'd sleep on plenty of floors to spend more time with jeff. ]

Is it... Weird to go to the park without a dog? [ hm-- ] Don't answer that. I hear it now I've said it.

[Jeff stares at him for a moment, brow furrowed while he parses that. Would David... prefer to sleep... somewhere else...]

I-

[Huh]

Do I snore?

[he has a BED just like... no tables or decorations.]

No-- [ well-- ] A little bit? But I meant if you don't have a bed or there's not enough space...

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