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[outerfringe]

open post for jeff

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[hardlydead]

[ he huffs a small laugh ]

Like he'd give a shit. I've definitely called him worse.

[outerfringe]

Afraid to hear what you've called me.

[He's not. He's contently drunk, has started digging out some other sketch in the soil, arm occasionally brushing David's as he does.]

[hardlydead]

[ he tilts his head as he tries to think if he's called jeff anything before, eyes narrowed for a moment or two and then he shakes his head ]

Probably just 'big quiet bastard' or 'big loud bastard' depending.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff winces with a quiet grin, touching the hand not holding the stick to his own chest.]

Fuck, man. Cuts deep.

[hardlydead]

[ he shoves jeff's shoulder with a grin ]

Shut the fuck up.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff swats in his direction with the stick.]

Just saying. Quiet AND loud. Can't win for losing.

[TBF he is the loudest quiet guy ever.]

[hardlydead]

[ david laughs — honestly he's drunk enough it almost comes out as a giggle but if jeff says a thing about it he's getting thrown in the fire — and gives jeff's shoulder a squeeze ]

There's just two sides to you or whatever.

[ hm ]

You contain multitudes.

[ nailed it ]

[outerfringe]

Two is multitudes? Goddamn, the bar is low.

[Jeff isn't saying a thing, but he does lean into the squeeze like he's just a little surprised by it.]

Get a dog when you get out of here, man. That can be your change.

[hardlydead]

[ david's hand lingers a little, but even drunk he's aware that it's a bit long for just a manly shoulder pat and the way he pulls his hand away is maybe a little abrupt ]

Two's a lot considering some of the wankers around here.

[ to say nothing about potential dogs ]

[outerfringe]

[This is weird. Is it weird? Fuck, he doesn't know, man. He knows that he's made more than his fair share of mistakes when alcohol has been involved, and he's not keen on repeating most of those.

Still, even with that said: he's kind of sad about David pulling his arm away.]

Good to know I stand out against literal nightmare demons from hell.

[Is the cartoonish little face he's making in the dirt now meant to be David? Maybe.]

[hardlydead]

You stand out against a lot.

[ ... well. that was a weird thing to say. ]

[ moving swiftly on. he clears his throat and gestures to the little face jeff's drawing ]

S'at supposed to be me?

[outerfringe]

Yeah. [An answer to the question, but he's revisiting that first statement as he puts a little hoodie on the cartoon David.]

I stand out? Because I'm so quiet, or because I'm so loud?

[hardlydead]

You're a good person. Few and far between where I'm from.

[ he tilts his head, watching jeff add to the dirt drawing ]

I know plenty of the others are, y'know, good too but you're not... [ he trails off a bit, looking for the words, frowning in concentration ] You're not annoying about it.

[outerfringe]

[Jeff glances sidelong at David, before he mimics David's gesture from before - tosses an arm around his shoulder, gives him a companionable.]

Just haven't got to know me yet.

[hardlydead]

[ david huffs a small, amused noise, about to say something suitably sarcastic when he turns his head to look at jeff and-- ]

[ oh ]

[ he's very close all of a sudden. ]

[ like he said, self-control's never exactly been his strong suit and honestly at this point the small reserve of it he has has been ground to a paste. his gaze flicks down to jeff's lips and that's about all the warning jeff gets before david's leaning in quick and rough to kiss him. ]

[outerfringe]

[It's been long enough since Jeff has kissed anyone that it takes him a split second to actually realize what's happening. His arm tightens around David's shoulder, meeting that roughness with a gentle firmness, before he pulls back a few inches and stares at him with an expression that's openly perplexed.

His arm goes slack.

What.]

You're drunk.

[Right, obviously. Jeff is apologetic, as if he's not equally inebriated.]

[hardlydead]

[ jeff pulls back and david's instant response to that is to panic. full on wide-eyed, pulse in his ears panic that drowns out anything jeff could possibly say in the moment. ]

Sorry, I'm not-- I don't--

[ he stumbles over his words like someone sent a bunch of obstacles sprawling in front of him mid-sprint and eventually settles on: ] Yeah.

[ he... has no idea what he's saying yeah to. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff had apologized, yeah, but he's still not prepared to feel that rush of disappointment when David apologizes the way he does. (Has he heard David apologize like that before? He's not sure, but he doesn't think so.)

There's heat high in his own cheeks when he lowers his arm, wanting to soothe that panic but not sure how to make it better instead of worse.]

Hey, man, no- It's fine. I get it. You gotta be lonely, I don't blame you.

['We could be lonely together,' a foul part of him thinks, and is horrified for it.]

[hardlydead]

[ it's a fight honestly, between the part of him that feels like he owes jeff the decency of some kind of honesty and the part of him that just wants to put that wall right back up where it was and laugh it off. funny joke, right. ]

[ he looks down at his hands, at jeff's little dirt cartoons, and shakes his head. ]

That's not it.

[ not to say he's not lonely because he is, but that's been an affliction since long before the fog. ]

I shouldn't have-- I'm sorry.

[outerfringe]

[There are at least a dozen things that Jeff might say here if he were just better with people. He should just accept the apology and move on; this was tricky territory to navigate even when you weren't being strung along by some omnipresent spider god, but he finds that his own throat is a little tight, that he's slightly tongue tied.

He lapses into silence for just a moment, before he - awkwardly - leans his arm into David's again.]

... don't be sorry, man. Acting like I wasn't into it.

[hardlydead]

[ despite himself, he does relax a little at jeff's touch, breathes out a soft laugh. ]

[ mmm but this is awkward now. he made it awkward. good fucking job, david. ]

So what now?

[outerfringe]

[This is stupid, maybe. Irresponsible, for sure. He nudges David again, trying to get him to look his way, and if he does Jeff will simply slant another kiss against his mouth.

He likes him, and it feels nice, and does it have to mean more than that in this exact moment? Is there something wrong with chasing whatever comfort they were allowed?

Either way he keeps it brief, even if he doesn't pull back far.]

Dogs. You're getting one, yeah?

[hardlydead]

[ snort ] Never gonna hear the end of it if I don't.

[ fine he'll look at jeff now that he's done (outwardly) panicking. it's just a lot when you're in a hellish murdergame dimension designed to feed off your suffering and also technically still in the closet okay. ]

[outerfringe]

[Jeff isn't the smoothest person in the realm, but other peoples' anxieties have always been a lot easier to handle than his own. Whatever just happened was weird and kind of surprising and also extremely pleasant. A bid for human connection that maybe the both of them need.

David's looking at him now, not scurrying away, and Jeff reaches over, drops a hand to rest against his knee. Touch for the sake of touch, nothing titillating, no acknowledgement needed.]

Damn right you won't. [He'll look away, breaking eye contact but letting his hand linger.] Entity really needs to drop us some marshmallows.

[hardlydead]

[ david looks down at jeff's hand against his knee and smiles a little, something small but nice and kind of intimate in a tiny way? it's soothing, he finds. when he looks back up at his face david still very much wants to kiss him, but maybe that's a bad idea. or a bad idea to be made sober at least. ]

[ he'll think about it. couldn't not if he tried anyway. ]

You sure you want that? [ he raises his eyebrows, turning his head to look at the fire. ] Probably be fuckin'... Finger mallows with bones for sticks.